BB1243 : Ho Ho Santa, Hi-Yo Silver

Thursday 20th December 2012


Ho Ho Santa

This week's Christmas Special is extra special this year for three reasons.  

Firstly there is no report for you to wade through, thanks to the awful, non-festive weather putting paid to our plans.  

Secondly, it includes a comment on identity theft that has upset a number of us.  
The pursuit of Mammon at the expense of integrity.

Thirdly, we have a gossip page item revealing how JPL's affections, last reported in BB1207, have moved on to a local potential star of the small screen.

So, before leading you on to a seasonal horror or love story, let me wish all BOOTboys and those who follow our adventures a very happy Christmas.  I hope Santa is kind to you all!

Don, 20th December 2012


Hi-Yo Silver

The Prussians had a big army.  The soldiers were big.  Over six Prussian feet tall.  That's real big. Prussian feet were big feet.  Bigger than English feet.  Potsdam soldiers stood over seventy four English inches.  Potsdam Giants. That was the 18th Century.  Jack Reacher would have had no problem.  Three inches to spare.  Strong.  Alert.  Fast thinking. Hates bad guys.  Merciless.  No prisoners.  No problem.  Men want to be him. Women want to be with him.

The US army is different.  Have to be sixty inches.  Tom Cruise could join.  Seven inches to spare.  Goddam giant.  Cruise play Reacher? Hell of a challenge. Shrunken doorways. Midget cast. Women want to mother him.  Men want to laugh at him. No one laughs at his bank balance.

Kirkby Lonsdale Child.  Once.  Not now.  Hollywood.  The system.  Money talks.  Money laughs. Money fills cases.  All the way to the bank.

Reacher sighs.  Walks on.  Out of town.  Hitches ride to Nowhereville. No baggage. Nothing except dirty shoes, shirt on back and blue jeans. Just a few dollars in his pocket. Not looking for trouble.  Trouble finds him.  Big men with bad habits.  Small men with big budgets. All the same.  Deals with trouble. Takes bus to Sunset.  No more trouble. Gone.  RIP

Who was that Man?   Jack.  The Lone Reacher
Who was that Child?  Lee.  Hi-Yo, Silver!


Who Was That Man?

Just in case any explanation is needed for younger readers (if any), The Lone Ranger was first a radio and then TV forerunner of Jack Reacher. He was an unnamed, masked Texas Ranger who rode into town on his horse, Silver, and with his trusty Red Indian friend, Tonto.  Any trouble would be sorted out and, as he spurred his horse to take him out of town with the cry "Hi-Yo Silver!", a local would ask " Who was that masked man?" and someone would reply "That's The Lone Ranger".  Happy days!

I had hoped that the distribution of the Reacher film was by Sony so I could add "No Tonto" and "Nintendo" to the final two lines..  But it ain't.

Lee Child, once of Kirkby Lonsdale, is the author of the Jack Reacher stories.

Who do you think should play Jack Reacher?  Tony says Liam Neeson.  JPL prefers Richard "Jaws" Kiel from the Bond films  I'd have gone for Big John Wayne but apparently he is no longer available.  Any more nominations?


The Lyon in the Gym

If you ever wondered why John Lyons is James' best (or worst, depending on your viewpoint) customer at the Castle Green Hotel gym, now we know.

John directed me to a website to see the lovely lady who looks after his every need whilst there. Here is the photo that came up. Click on the picture to see and learn more.

The management confirms that there's only one love machine in the Castle Green Gym and that he is called "The Lyon".  He has been getting bigger and bigger everyday he attends.



E-mail addresses on this web site are protected by

 Spam Trawlers will be further frustrated by
 Spam Blocker: help fight spam e-mail!  



BOOT boys

If you want to join
he BOOTboys
Fan Club
let us know and
you will receive
of new
BOOTboys reports.

Click on
to contact us.


For the index pages
of our various outings
click on the relevant
link below:

Home Page












Click on the photos
for an enlargement
or related large picture.



To see which Wainwright
top was visited on which
BB outing see
Which Wainwright When?.

To download a log of heights and miles and which Wainwrights
have been done by which BOOT
boy in the"modern" era, i.e. since the advent
click on BB Log