BB1341 : Happy Legs and Thirsty Boots

Thursday 21st November 2013

We do not normally get involved with promoting a product on these pages but this one could be of great interest to BOOTboys, especially those who have not been out with us for a while.

The device is called HappyLegs, The Seated Walking Machine that claims to enable you to go for a walk without leaving your chair.  In fact the advert tells you to "put on the TV, radio or get a good book, sit back, relax and let HappyLegs take you for a walk."

Perhaps I should invest so that I can write these pages from the comfort of my chair without any of us needing to venture outdoors.  Until such time however......

It was a bus day.  John was back on the Wainwright trail and, given the shortening of the days, Wansfell was the target.  After alighting at Ambleside we headed up by Stockghyll Force.

Nice of the Czechs to leave us a penny!

Next, the climb up to Wansfell Pike via the nice little gully just before the top.  

This provides a superb viewpoint but the northerly wind was gusting strongly and coldly so it was not a place for lingering.  

Windermere and the Coniston range

John in flying mode

The real target, the Wainwright summit, was Baystones.

Fairfield to the left,in cloud, Baystones to the right.

Fortunately the trail was along the lee side of the ridge so we were somewhat sheltered by the wall.  It is one of those peaks where the top according to the OS map does not seem to correspond to what your eyes are telling you.  So we did both before heading down to Nanny Lane and lunch.

It was still cold and threatening to shower but the day started to improve as we reached Troutbeck where we inspected the Jesus Church.

The plan was to head to Windermere via Orrest Head so we crossed the valley then picked up the Longmire Road track before crossing fields to reach the short climb to the summit.  

Heading up to Longmire Road track

Looking back to Wansfell Pike and Baystones

Orrest Head is probably the best viewpoint in South Lakeland in terms of the scenery to effort ratio.

Sundown from Orrest Head

On the descent, we were debating where to stop for refreshment  The thought of HappyLegs, the comitibus of BOOTboys and the prospect of celebratory pints somehow brought to mind an Eric Anderson song I vaguely remembered from my university days: Thirsty Boots.

Weary we might be but hotness and dusty miles didn't quite seem right today!  But, to our surprise, the Windermere Hotel seemed to be waiting for us.

Strangely the first sup was OK (we must have worked up a right thirst) but as the glass got lower, the drink seemed less flavoursome.

We resolved the obvious dilemma by catching the bus back to Kendal (Martin excepted) where we had a rerun of the BB1329 competition.  As the bus pulled into the bus station, Stan and I leapt off and legged it as fast as we could to the Ring o'Bells whilst Tony and John stayed on the bus thinking that they would be able to beat us by alighting at Netherfield Bridge.  Although, to be fair, we did warn them about the ten minute wait to change driver, I don't think they believed us.  This explains why, when we reached the target, this time there was no sign of them.  But the pub was shut!

A pint or so later, I could not help but reflect that it is all very well having a HappyLegs home alone experience as per the newspaper advert but where is the comradeship of the comitibus and where is the opportunity for a celebratory pint?  

Then it occurred to me, the trick that they are missing.  Every pub should have a HappyLegs room.  You tell the wife you are going to meet some pals for a healthy walk then jump into your car, drive to the Hare & HappyLegs, leap into your special chair alongside your mates, switch on and sup to your heart's content knowing that you will emerge a fitter, stronger man.

Correction:  Please travel by bus or, on your return, you might find your wobbly, happy legs somewhat distressed through being detained at Her Majesty's pleasure.  

There again, perhaps they have HappyLegs in jail these days?  

Clearly the song now needs amending somewhat.  Accordingly, here is the BOOTboys' HappyLegs version of Thirsty Boots.  This is dedicated to John and Tony, who were getting stuck into their fourth pint as Stan and I set off for home, smiling.

Turn on your HappyLegs and stay for a while
If you have a pint or three, that will make you smile
And maybe you can sup a fourth
And maybe you can buy
a fifth and sixth this evening
Or more if you try.

No doubt when they left they had very happy legs!

Don, 21st November 2013

Thirsty Boots by Eric Anderson

To hear the song, click on Eric Anderson

Where's Bryan?

If anyone was wondering what has happened to Bryan, he hasn't vanished but is currently committed to child-minding duties on our normal BOOTboys days. However, he is keeping fit and coincidentally will also be doing Wansfell this weekend.

As you might expect, his version is rather different- Troutbeck Church, Troutbeck Tongue, Thornthwaite Crag, Caudale Moor, Red Screes and Wansfell Pike.  

A modest (for him) 15 miles and 5,400 feet.

BOOTboys routes are put online in gpx format which should work with most mapping software. You can follow our route in detail by downloading bb1341 .

To discover which Wainwright top was visited on which BB outing - although it may not be that up to date - see: Which Wainwright When?

For the latest totals of the mileages and heights (ditto) see: BB Log.

 Photos have been gleaned from many sources although mostly from me!
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Thirsty Boots

by

Eric Anderson

 You've long been on the open road, sleepin' in the rain
From dirty words and muddy cells,
your clothes are smeared and stained
But the dirty words and muddy cells
will soon be judged insane
So only stop to rest yourself
til you are off again

So take off your thirsty boots
and stay for a while
Your feet are hot and weary
from a dusty mile
And maybe I can make you laugh,
maybe I can try
I'm just lookin' for the evening
and the morning in your eyes

But tell me of the ones you saw
as  far as you could see
Across the plain from fields  to town a-marchin' to be free
And of the rusted prison gates
that tumbled by decree
Like laughin' children one by one
They looked like you and me

So take off your thirsty boots
and stay for a while
Your feet are hot and weary
from a dusty mile
And maybe I can make you laugh,
maybe I can try
I'm just lookin' for the evening
and the morning in your eyes

I know you are no stranger
down the crooked rainbow trails
From dancing cliff-edged shattered sills of slander shackled jails
For the voices  drift up from below
as  the walls are being scaled
Yes, all of this and more, my friends
your song shall not be failed

So take off your thirsty boots
and stay for a while
Your feet are hot and weary
from a dusty mile
And maybe I can make you laugh,
maybe I can try
I'm just lookin' for the evening
and the morning in your eyes

Yes, you've long been on the open road,
just sleepin' in the rain
From dirty words and muddy cells,
your clothes are smeared and stained
But the dirty words and muddy cells
will soon be hid in shame
So only stop to rest yourself
til you'll be off again

So take off your thirsty boots
and stay for a while
Your feet are hot and weary
from a dusty mile
And maybe I can make you laugh,
maybe I can try
I'm just lookin' for the evening
and the morning in your eyes