Folks, let me tell you, today was a tremendous day. A PERFECT DAY. The best walk, maybe ever. The Food Boys—GREAT GUYS, by the way, really top-notch—set off on an unbelievable adventure. Nobody walks like us. Nobody enjoys food like us. And let me tell you, today, we walked, we ate, and WE WON.

Ah, well, I say… if I might just have your attention for a moment, that would be awfully kind. Now, I don’t want to make too much of a fuss, but we really did have rather a splendid day, you know. A most delightful walk, probably one of the best we’ve ever had—if that’s not too bold a claim, of course.

Now, we set off in excellent spirits, the Food Boys and I—a most agreeable bunch, really—and we embarked upon what one might call a bit of an adventure.

First stop—Grange over Sands. Beautiful. Just a FANTASTIC PLACE. We started strong with coffee on the promenade. And not just any coffee—the best coffee. Rich, smooth, probably the GREATEST COFFEE in the history of promenades. And the view? Incredible. Many people are saying it’s one of the best in the country, and I agree.

First stop: Grange-over-Sands. A charming place, truly. We took a moment to enjoy a coffee on the promenade, and I must say, it was really quite good. Rich, smooth, very satisfying—if one is inclined to care about such things. And the view, well, quite breathtaking, really. People do say it’s one of the finest in the country, and, well, who am I to argue?

From there, we took on Hampsfell. Let me tell you, folks, this was not an easy climb. Many people would have turned back. But not us. WE PUSHED FORWARDS—just like food boys should. We reached the top, looked out over the land, and it was spectacular. We dominated Hampsfell. A TOTAL WIN.

From there, we tackled Hampsfell. Now, I don’t wish to sound overly dramatic, but it was a rather steep climb, you know. Quite demanding in parts. Some might have thought twice about continuing, but, well, we pressed on with great determination. And when we reached the top—oh, my word—it was rather spectacular. Quite worth the effort, if I may say so.

And then—Higginson’s pies. Wow. Let me tell you, these are real pies. Not like those weak, overrated pies some places try to pass off. No, these were strong pies. POWERFUL PIES. The crust? Perfect. The filling? So much flavor. Everyone was talking about them. Probably the best pies ever made.

And then, of course, there were the pies. Higginson’s, you see. Marvellous pies, absolutely top-notch. Not the sort of thing one finds just anywhere. The pastry—perfectly crisp. The filling—bursting with flavour. Quite, quite delicious. One really couldn’t ask for more.

But we weren’t done yet. No, we kept going. We walked on to Cartmel—to the Brewery. And folks, let me tell you, this place is doing phenomenal work. They know beer. They understand GREATNESS. We sat down, enjoyed a cheeseboard platter—fantastic cheeses, aged to perfection. Many people don't appreciate a great cheeseboard, but WE DO. Every bite? A VICTORY.

But we weren’t finished, oh no. On we went, making our way to Cartmel, where we visited the brewery. A most excellent establishment, really. They do know their beer, you see. And the cheeseboard—well, what a treat that was. Aged to perfection, beautifully presented, and, naturally, very much enjoyed by all.

So, to wrap it up—HUGE SUCCESS. We walked. We ate. We conquered. A perfect day, folks. The Food Boys are UNSTOPPABLE. And let me tell you—next time? Even bigger, even better. Believe me. 

The DONALD 2/6/25

So, all in all, a most successful day. A little walking, a little eating, and a great deal of satisfaction. And, well, I don’t wish to get ahead of myself, but I rather think that next time will be just as delightful—perhaps even more so. If that’s quite all right with everyone, of course.

The late Arthur Wilson, 6th February 2025