: A Tale of Crinkley Bottoms
are excuses and there are excuses.
like “I’ve broken my ribs” or “I’ve damaged my sacroiliac
joint” or “I’ve just burned my house down”, are understandable
reasons for foregoing a BOOTboys outing.
like “I’m having my hair cut” or “I’m going for a massage”
are just feeble, although Tony, the perpetrator of the
latter, asks “Which would you prefer: pounding up some
boggy fell in pouring rain or having a young woman rub
her hands all over you for half an hour?”
one of our number, whose name will not be
revealed but was conspicuous by his absence
today, has put forward an excuse for not
being with us that has sunk to a new low.
nearly said "to the bottom" which
would have been quite appropriate:
was driving five hundred miles to watch
Noel Edmonds record an edition of “Deal
or No Deal” at the Crinkley Bottom studios!
you believe that?
King of Crinkley Bottom
Pete (with nearly 300 miles of travel, but more of that
later), Tony, Stan and I were pondering whether to stick
with Plan A and head over to the north west fells despite
an atrocious weather forecast or to travel east to the
drier Yorkshire hills. Plan A won the day.
was actually a pleasant autumnal morning as we drove
up the A591 though the Lake District but it became ominously
greyer as we progressed over the Whinlatter Pass. On
parking at Low Lorton, it started raining and it didn’t
stop until we reached the road back to the car, more
than three hours later.
the swollen River Cocker
Lorton Garden Swine
first objective was Fellbarrow, which meant that a substantial
amount of climbing was done on the “white” road over
the northern shoulder of this group of hills before
turning south on a cart track and finally south west
across fields to the summit. The trig point was
being guarded by bullocks but fortunately they had the
good sense to back off so no violence was called for.
clearing near Dodd Wood
plus bullocks: Fellbarrow
here, we followed the wall southwards in very unpleasant
weather, including, at times, hail. Strangely,
however, the visibility remained quite good for such
a wet day.
first glimpse of Low Fell
was somehow getting through my anorak and running down
my back into my underpants! Lovely.
Fell to the left, Darling Fell to the right
bore west to join the path that comes up from Thackthwaite
at the inappropriately named (today, at least) Watching
you see Loweswater? It is there!
was desperate to eat by this time but there
was nowhere to shelter.
the first time I can recall in BOOTboy
history, we lunched, somewhat abbreviatedly,
standing in the rain.
climb to Low Fell summit was short but surprisingly
am sure that on a good day there is a wonderful
view over to Loweswater.
Whiteside and Grasmoor range
had thought of extending to Darling Fell.
returned by the path to Thackthwaite and
as we dropped down, the weather improved
significantly, offering some impressive
views over to the Whiteside and Grasmoor
range, which we need to visit soon.
a bend we could see over to Crummock Water
with Mellbreak standing proudly to its right-
another hill we need to visit soon.
Water in sight, Mellbreak to the right
reaching the village, Pete commented that he didn’t
know that red squirrels could drive and insisted that
I took a photo of the sign telling them to slow down.
I didn’t even know they could read!
Squirrels, please take note
summer house on wheels
of the properties had a romany type summer house in
rest of the journey was an almost pleasant road stroll
back to the car where we finished off the rest of our
lunch. We compared our inner dampnesses. Stan
was cold but reasonably dry. Pete and Tony wet
in the upper body. I was damp up and down and
therefore, yes, my bottom had become quite crinkley.
Tony informed us that when he got home, he intended
to run a hot bath and soak in it for hours so no doubt
his bottom, too, is, by now, crinkley but perhaps that’s
too much information!
crinkley bottom was caused by quite different means -
his journey back from Kendal to his home in Cheshire
took him six hours thanks
to a breakdown and a three hour wait for the recovery
vehicle. A long time to be sat in the same seat!
would we have swapped the BOOTboys
adventure for a trip to Noel Edmond’s Crinkley Bottom?
on your Crinkley Nelly, Noel.
5th November 2009
Bryan subsequently outed himself as the traveller
to Crinkley Bottom and attempted to justify his absence
with the following contribution:
interesting read but with an important factual innacuracy.
Bottom was of course from the Mr Blobby days. Noel has
now gone much more upmarket and his establishment is
now called the Dream Factory.
us yesterday was actually the 17th February. It was
an interesting day as neither Liz, Helen, or myself
had ever been on a TV set before so all the "warm-up"
bits, the pre-recording setting up etc. were completely
new to us.
was also remarkable how involved you got with the actual
game, to the extent of forgetting completely that you
were in a tin hut on an industrial estate in Bristol!.
Although clearly it's just a game of chance, the fact
was that we were a few feet away from a bloke to whom
£5,000 was a serious amount of money and he was
having to decide whether to take it or take a 2:1 chance
of getting £50,000.
me personally it was definitely worth the travelling,
with a nice morning in Bristol on a SUNNY day as well.
And despite traffic jams on the M6 we still got home
quicker than Pete!
was unable to tell us more as he is subject to a confidentiality
However he was at liberty to show us just what we hadn't been able
see from Low Fell:
then, here are two views that he didn't see:
If you want to comment on this report, click on
5th November 2009
Don, Pete, Stan, Tony
you have Memory Map on your computer, you can follow
our route in detail by downloading BB0935.
Steve G advises: "For those who like to look at your
meanderings but use Tracklogs or other software then your logs can be converted
using the freeware utility GPS Babel."
For the latest totals of the mileages, heights and Lakeland Fells
Books Wainwrights see: Wainwrights.
If anyone wants to claim other peaks, please let
me know and I will submit them to the adjudication committee!
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This page describes an adventure of BOOTboys, a loose group of friends of mature
years who enjoy defying the aging process by getting out into the hills as
often as possible!
As most live in South Lakeland, it is no surprise that
our focus is on the Lakeland fells and the Yorkshire Dales.
As for the name, BOOTboys, it does not primarily derive from an
item of footwear, and certainly not from any skin head associations or other
type of social group,
but is in memory of
the erstwhile landlady
the erstwhile Burnmoor Inn at Boot in Eskdale,
who enlivened Saint Patrick's Day
and other odd evenings many years ago!
If you want to contact us, click on
If you want to join
let us know and
of new BOOTboys reports.
: A Gordon Day Out
: Thank You,
Wednesday 14th January
: A Wicked Hike???
: Take a Mug With You
: Down in the Forest
: Not How But Where?
: Binsey Can Wait
(but Uncle Monty Can Not)
Thursday 12th February
: Badgers on the Line
: It's not a W!
: Up on the Roof
: Not the Blisco Dashers
Thursday 2nd April
: John's Comeback
Monday 6th April
: Two Churches, a Pulpit and a Cherry Picker
: Companions of the BOOT
: The Gale Force Choice
: The Comeback Continues
28th May - 2nd June
: Has Anyone Seen Lily?
Feet on the Greenburn Horseshoe
- BB0921 :
The Tebay Fell Race Walk
: For England and St George
: The Coniston Outliers
Friday 31st July
: Little To Be Said In Favour?
: The Third Night of the Rescue
: Long Wet Windy Monty Bothy Fun?
: Dear Mrs Scroggins
Friday 11th September
: An Ard Day's Hike
Thursday 17th September
A Canter of Convalescents?
International Autumnal Expedition
Sunday 27th September
- BB0931 : A Bit of an Adventure
Thursday 1st October
- BB0932 : Paths of Glory?
Thursday 8th October
: When Yorkshire Was Welsh
- BB0934 : Unlocking the Whinlatters
Thursday 22nd October
: A Tale of Crinkley Bottoms
: Aye Up What?
: Where Eagles Wade
: After the Floods
: The Mystery of the Missing Glove
: A Too Short Walk
: One Hundred and Onesfell
: Back to the Beginning
: BOOTskiboys in Saalbach
- 21st March
: Los Chicos
y las Chicas de la Bota
11th - 14th May
: Peaked Too Soon
Click on the photos for an enlargement or related large
download a log of which Wainwrights have
been done by which BOOTboy
in the "modern" era, i.e. since the advent
click on Wainwrights.
anyone wants to claim other peaks, please let me know
and I will submit them to the adjudication committee!